Lesson in Patience

The last post I talked about the fact that we got a new puppy. I think this is one of the greatest lessons of patience anyone can ever have. We have had her for over a week now and she is learning a lot. We are having a lot of fun, but there are also a lot of frustrations. Just when we think she is learning, she has an accident again. But, so it goes, she is only 9 weeks old.

Everyone we talk to says it is good practice for having kids. Well, then I guess I am happy we have a puppy first. It would be interesting to have kids without ever having gone through something like this. It is such an adjustment. But it is still fun.

It does make it hard to work sometimes. But, I am learning how to get things done when I can, and also to still have time to take her out and train her a little. It is a fun adventure, but we still need much patience!

New Puppy

Well, it has been a while again since I wrote. Things have been a bit busy since we got home from Ontario two weeks ago. Last week I was golfing at a Christian School golf tournament and a Pastor from another church had a heart attack and died on the course. It was pretty tragic. As a result, I was asked last week to do a wedding this past Saturday. It ended up being a good thing.

But the other things that will keep us busy for the next while is the fact we got a new puppy. She is only 8 weeks old and she is a Weimaraner. So now we have the fun task of house training her. I think it will go okay as I work out of the house, but we need to train her to be okay when we are not home as well, that will be the interesting part. Anyway, this is a fun time now for us. I am looking forward to it! Another new challenge.

Interesting

I haven't posted in a while due to some unexpected travel. My wife's grandfather passed away and we went back for the funeral. It was a good time to be with family and to see how the Christian community really supports people during a death in the family.

While there, we had the visitation with the family at the funeral home. This is when family and friends come and visit the family and also to witness the body of the one who has passed. It is tradition there to line up as a family to receive people as they come. Something we noticed which we thought was kind of funny was the number of people that commented on my height. It is funny to me, because if someone is short, people don't go up to them in a place like that and say, "Oh, your a small one!" I just find that funny....

Anyway, the one thing that I really wanted to comment on was the other thing people would say to me, that was: "Oh you are her husband, the minister." The reason this sticks out in my mind is because I guess, I haven't gotten my mind completely around the idea of the "specialness" of being a Minister. To some people it is very "special" to be a pastor. The reason I think that people feel this way is because you didn't hear people saying about my in-laws: "Oh, you are her husband the manager/dispatcher." Or, "You are his wife the nurse."

Being a pastor has a lot of different expectations from people. It isn't always easy to accept the role as representing Christ. As Fredrich Buechner puts it in Telling the Truth: The Gospel as Tragedy, Comedy & Fair Tale, "...not because of anything he knows or anything he is in himself but because, as an ambassador is revered for the government he represents, he is to be revered for representing Christ." (pg. 40) This is hard to accept at times, but I think as a pastor I need to think of it in this way as well. It is not because of a degree I hold from a certain Seminary. But it is because I am representing Christ that people think my job is "special."

Numbers Game

At a planning meeting for upcoming small groups I was really encouraged by something someone said in that meeting, but it also made me think a bit. In the discussion a question was raised as to whether or not the small groups would replace the evening service. Attendance at our evening service isn't outstanding by any means. We average about 30 people who attend the evening service. Which percentage wise from the morning service isn' t that great. We had a brief discussion then about this.

Sometimes as a Pastor I might get frustrated with the lack of attendance in the second service. I shared this a bit. It was interesting what an elder had to say then. He has shared this with me before, and I think I needed to hear it again.

The thing he said went along these lines: There are people who talk about canceling the evening service. It is interesting to note who the people are who want to cancel the evening service. It is usually the people who don't go anyway. So, really, why does it matter to them if we canceled the evening service? He also said, the people who should have a say, or vote whether or not we cancel the evening service should be limited to the 50 or so people that actually come to the second service. The one thing that I was reminded of again is the fact that the people who show up to the evening service want to be there. If we were to cancel the evening service, who would it affect, those who weren't coming anyway? Or would it affect those who really want to be there?

He had a great point and this really encouraged me. Yeah it may seem like a lot of time "wasted" to prepare for "only" 30 people. But would you rather prepare for 30 people who want to be there, or for those who don't want to be there?

This really got me thinking about how Pastors and churches think about success. Last year on my internship I found myself saying sometimes when only 12 kids would show up for youth group, well, this isn't enough to do what I was hoping to, so let's just watch a movie. Why do we think that we need more people to justify the amount of time we spend on something? Some churches only get 30 people in their doors a week.

I found out last year on my internship that no matter how many people showed up for a youth event, we still had a good time and made the best of it. I think we need to think this way sometimes about other things. Even if the numbers aren't that high, I think the quality of discussion or quality of the service is more important than quantity. So as our church begins this new venture of starting small groups, I pray that we don't measure its success purely by numbers. I hope that we can evaluate the quality of the discussions and how well people enjoyed going and how much people get out of the groups.

How to pray?

In the past week my wife's grandfather has taken a turn for the worse. He has had a lot of complications with his breathing for a few years now. A few weeks ago he went on Oxygen, hoping that would comfort him. Then he was rushed to the hospital because his heart was almost out of control. It doesn't seem that he will make it out of this.

Talking with my wife she wondered, "How do you pray for Opa?" (Dutch term for Grandpa) This is a very interesting question. One that I have thought about on different occasions. When you love someone so much, you want them to be with you forever. Unfortunately, we will never live forever, and neither will our loved ones. In a time like this, we want our loved ones to be with us forever. So, we think we should pray for healing. We want Opa to be around forever.

Yet on the other hand he has had a hard time breathing for a few years. Each breath is like work for him. In the hot, humid Summers of Southern Ontario he struggles even more. The last time we visited with him he said he was sick of it. He was ready to go. That was a few months ago already. Now it appears he is close to death. Do we pray that he be healed and return to struggling for each breath? Or do we pray that the Lord would take him home soon?

No matter how many times one encounters death, it is never easy. I have experienced the death of 3 grandparents, 2 uncles, friends' parents, friends themselves, and a number of church members. No matter how many times one is faced with death, it is never easy. Each situation is different from another.

Oma, (dutch term for Grandma) said that Opa is ready to meet his redeemer. As a Christian we have the assurance of knowing Jesus died for us, so we can be with him. No matter how much we know this in our head, it still hurts our heart. Experiencing death always makes me think of the promise that Jesus will come again. At that time "They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away!" (Revelation 21:3-4).

In times like these we want to pray for ourselves. But we also pray that Opa wouldnt have to suffer any longer. In times like these I also want to pray, "Come quickly Lord Jesus!"

Is a Pastor ever "off"?

I just had a conversation with a friend who is also a pastor. We discussed the whole idea of being a pastor and being "off" - that is, not officially working, or preaching. We wondered if that is ever truly possible?

I had been thinking about this for a while. As a pastor in a smaller community, is there ever a time when you are "off"? Even walking in to the Post Office people will recognize me (not to mention, I dont blend in well in crowds, being 6'7" and having red hair) and say hello Pastor.

I also thought about this with regards to my vacation and Sundays allowed "off." This passed Sunday was one of those "off" days. So, my wife and I attended a different church. This church is a church from our denomination but in a different town. Even there, I felt "on" so to speak. Sure I wasn't preaching, but people who know me, or my wife right away recognize me as "pastor." So even in a different church, I still felt like I had to be "on." I guess one way would be to go to a church of a different denomination where people might not recognize me.

But I was also thinking about this with regards to my vacation. I am allowed 4 weeks of vacation throughout the year. So far this year, the two vacations that we took were "working" vacations. I did two weddings and also preached in those two churches the following Sunday. It is hard to keep the balance of working and vacation. It is also hard to face the family pressure of preaching when home. Now don't get me wrong. I do love to preach. But when you are on vacation, it is nice to be "On vacation." It is nice to be able to be myself and not "Pastor" all the time.

With that being said, I do feel like at the church I am at, I can be myself most of the time. Maybe sometimes I should hold back more than I do. But that is what I really love about this church is that I can be myself, a normal person trying to follow Christ, helping others in their walk with Christ as well.

Privilege

I was thinking the other day about the different privileges Pastors have. What brought this on was what happened while golfing with my dad and brother. We were paired up with two other golfers last week Saturday. After a few holes, we were discussing what the others did for work. While walking down the fairway with this one guy, he asked why I didnt drive truck like my dad and brother. I told him I drove during the summers in college, but I am now a Pastor in Canada. He right away said, "I am going through a separation and a divorce right now. I am just praying to God that he puts patience in my heart and strength to get through this."

This really made me think. I met this man, maybe an hour before when we started. Now, because he heard I was a pastor he immediately opens up about his divorce. As Pastors I think this is a privilege. People who might be complete strangers will open up to you, just because you are a pastor.

I also thought of other times where we are privileged. Last year on I was able to go into the ICU at a hospital to visit with someone from our church. Only family is allowed, but pastors are the only exception. This year also, the night of a serious accident I was able to visit with a member in the midst of his struggles.

It is hard sometimes to get my mind around this fact. Now that I am a pastor I am privileged to visit with people in some of their most trying moments in life. What an honor, and a privilege we have. But we dont do this on our own strength, or our own will. We go representing God and go with his message of hope. Being a pastor is not a job that you can leave at the church. But it is something that you are every single day. Which challenges me to represent Christ in all things.