Happy Thanksgiving, part 2

Today is American Thanksgiving. Thinking about that this morning has made me a bit homesick. I have never really thought about being away from home much. But hearing that my family was going camping for Thanksgiving it makes me want to be there with them. Oh, to be camping by a lake at the end of November.

Being homesick hasnt really happened to me for a long time. I have been away from home for 10 years now, I should be accustomed to it by now. Things that help are the fact that we have a great church community here. Knowing that we are loved and welcomed as a part of the family here has been great. Going to things like volleyball tonight will really help. I played basketball for the first time in months last night and realized how much I miss playing. I find if I keep myself busy enough, then you dont have time to think about missing out on camping. Having a job where you sit in your office and think sometimes doesnt help. But, in general I dont get homesick.

One thing that I am looking forward to, at least a little bit, is the fact that we are celebrating American Thanksgiving on Saturday with some others in the area who are American. I think this is a neat idea. Last year I remember missing Thanksgiving especially because we received American TV channels and I could watch Football on that day!

Anyway, on this Thanksgiving Day, I am thankful for family, friends, and a great church community. We are really blessed to be here in Granum. Both my wife and I feel this way. We love being here and are extremely thankful. Most of all I am thankful for our Lord and Savior that he came to us. We begin Advent and celebrate his coming, and we wait his coming again. Thank you Jesus for giving yourself for us!

Feeling guilty

This past weekend I actually had the Sunday off and decided it was time to take my wife on a weekend getaway. She had no idea of where we were going or anything. It was a lot of fun to plan this without her knowing. We went to Banff national park and stayed at a nice lodge with a fireplace and kitchen. We went to the hot springs and went up the Banff Gondola. It was a really nice time.

When I got home, there was a message on my machine that someone in our church had a heart attack. It was bad enough that they sent him to Calgary. The thing that got me was that we just came through there. It was too bad I didnt know about it earlier we could have stopped on the way home.

This got me thinking about the weekend. I started to feel a little guilty that we werent around for this. So, on my day off I went up to visit him. Should I feel guilty about spending some quality time with my wife? I feel a little guilty, but then on the other hand, I need to do these things for my own personal life as well as my sanity. Again, some conflicting feelings.

It's not about me

I am constantly amazed by different things in the ministry. Yesterday for example: In the afternoon, I wasnt feeling like doing much. I felt like I could go to the bakery and sit and read my book and I would be content. (Which for me is surprising that I would be content reading a book.) But I felt I should go make some visits. It was almost reluctantly that I went to visit some of those who live in rest homes.

The first one was asleep and I thought, well this is my sign to just go to the bakery. But, I thought, no, I should do this. So I went to visit a couple of others and wow, I was amazed at how they made me feel good. I was excited about their reaction to seeing me. Not only that, but the people I visited with are so positive. They are in their 80's and 90's and yet have a very positive attitude about life. Visiting with them lifted my spirits. It's amazing how we can be ministered to at the same time of ministering to others. What a blessing.

What wears us out?

I was asked this question by my mentor. This is a good question. I think this is something that changes from time to time. I dont think that certain things tire us out all the time, but at certain points things that might be frustrating might tire us out. In ministry there are things that will tire us out. However, there are things that should give us energy or perk us up.

Talking about this yesterday made me think of things that really make me feel good. There are a lot of things that perk me up and give me energy. Playing sports is one thing that really energizes me. But, this is a problem for me. Where we live makes it difficult to play the sports I love. We started volleyball in town which has been good for me. The main sport that I really miss is basketball.

The question I think I should ask myself is if I am too lazy lately? There is the opportunity to play basketball in a town that is a half hour away from me. The thing is, it is on Wednesday nights. Am I too lazy to drive that far to play the sport I love? Do I always have make appointments on Wednesday nights so I have an excuse not to drive that far?

Since living in Canada, I have taken an interest in hockey. So now I am trying to organize playing hockey in one of the nearby towns. But again this will take some time to get together.

I think there are other things that energize me, I just need to find them. I need to be able to do them more often so that it helps my mood. I do miss playing basketball 3 days a week like I did at Seminary. I miss the fellowship as well as the exercise. I think this weekend will help energize me. I am taking my wife away for the weekend, she doesnt know where yet. We dont get many weekends, and since I have Sunday off, I am taking advantage of it. I am really looking forward to it.

Should Size Matter?

First of all, everyone get their mind out of the gutter. What I am talking about is with regards to youth group. We have a small youth group this year, and an even smaller one next year. Currently we have a possible 6-8 kids that potentially could come to youth group. So, if 1 or 2 dont show up, that makes the group really small.

The thing I struggle with is what to do with such a small group. Last year on my internship we had a group of close to 25-30 each time. In a large group you can do bigger games, better activities, etc. With a small group, what can we do? Should we just hang out and play games, or should I actually try to have a discussion with them?

I struggle with this question. I struggle with how much effort I should put into planning for the youth group meetings. A question that arises in my mind is, "If they dont want to be here, why should I spend my time planning things?" Is this a bad attitude to have? Just some thoughts that I have had the last couple of times we had a youth group meeting. I would be interested to hear some opinions or advice on this matter.

Walking Barefoot

One of the things I remember from my Pastor Care class at Seminary was a saying that Professor Nydam said. We were talking about Empathy and how we can show empathy to members in our congregations. The way he described empathy was this: "It is walking barefoot beside them through their trial." At first it sounded kind of cheesy. But having done some more reflection on this it makes a lot of sense.

When someone in our congregation is going through a hard time, as pastors it is our calling to be with them in this process. It doesn't mean that we will feel exactly how they will feel. But what it means is that we are there beside them, we struggle along with them. We hurt as they hurt.

I was thinking about this yesterday as I visited with Roy. Roy is the brother who was driving the car when his sister was killed a few weeks ago. (See earlier post, "Mixed Emotions) Roy is doing okay, but is back in the hospital. I went to see him yesterday and there are a lot of things that he is feeling. I think there is an overwhelming sense of guilt. He said a few times, "If only I would have gone back." He also said, "It's not fair that he is alive."

It is in these times that we really are walking barefoot beside them, or we should be. I mean, if we were to put ourselves in his shoes, how would we feel? I cant even begin to imagine. But it is in these times that as a pastor we can be there to listen, to try and offer some words of comfort, but those are hard to come by. The only thing that is comforting is the assurance that he has that his sister is with her Lord. In times like these we can offer words of hope as we walk barefoot beside them.

How can I help

Today I was thinking, can you care for someone too much?? I mean, when you love someone and you truly care for them, when they hurt, you hurt along with them. Coming from a man, it is extremely difficult to sit by and not be able to just "fix" whatever is wrong. I think that is something that is bothering me too. Since I can't just fix the problem, what can I do to help? What can you do when the person you love is hurting? How can I help? I want to fix the problem, but not sure how.

Mixed Emotions

Yesterday was a challenging Sunday. Just before the morning service someone came in and said they saw a bad accident on the way to church. Living in the country, when there are bad accidents, they are usually really bad. Not only that, but they thought it was someone from our church. They thought it was a brother and sister who have lived together for many years. She was in her 90's and he in his 70's. Well, when I heard this, I thought, he is supposed to be on the Piano this morning. So I went in the sanctuary and saw he wasnt playing. THis was not normal, he is always there since he loves to play the piano.

Immediately when I saw this my heart sunk. I had a bad feeling it was them in the accident, but we had no way of knowing. At the beginning of the service I saw some family members going in and out and it seemed to confirm it.

After the service we learned that the sister died in the car accident. We made an announcement in the fellowship hall, and after some phone calls off to the hospital I went. The brother was doing okay, so I thought I should go to be with the family.

This is where the really difficult part comes in. We got to the hospital, and he was going to be released soon. What is so hard about this is the fact that we are glad that he was okay and was able to go home, yet on the other hand, his sister had died in the car accident. The challenging thing is, how do you minister in this situation. You are glad one is alive, but sad that the other is not.

The amazing thing to me was the fact that I was able to get through the service with all that was going on in my mind. I had a bad feeling that someone was killed, but wasn't 100% sure. Yet, the service was able to continue on, and it really seemed to me that there was an extra measure of volume in the congregation singing. I dont know if it was just me, or if the Spirit was extra evident during this service. Anyway, I am just amazed, but also have mixed emotions right now.